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Challenge #1: tap into your friends of friends network
I did exactly what Bayard advised and messaged her on Instagram. Those with social anxiety struggle because they are in their head and second guess themselves.
Wherever you are, be present and look around the room to see who is looking at you. She advised me to send that person a message on Instagram asking them to get coffee. Look up from your phone. Tessina, a California psychotherapist also known as "Dr. Bite the bullet and try online dating for a big pool of potential candidates, Schwartz added.
All my friends are married with. The first thing Bayard advised me to do was take inventory of peolle I know and who they know. I felt ready to hear what Bayard had in store for me and was happy to know that there were only three challenges she wanted me to tackle over the next month to help me make friends.
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Like yourself and like your life — really work on that, Schwartz advised. But before I did, I asked Bayard for advice on what to say. Who are the people you sometimes see at the same parties and share mutual friends, but never have one-on-one conversations? Happy people attract people. social groups or meet-ups; be a worker bee in a cause you believe in; get involved in political parties.
Go where people like the same things you like.
Bayard was patient and listened to me vent. I wrote each challenge down and devoted at least one week to following through on them.
I am looking men
Most people, I thought, make friends without a strategy or game plan. I told her I almost peopls our session out of pure shame.
Start there. I decided to keep our appointment.
We met a handful of times over the years and she casually always invited me to them at a yoga class.